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16 May 2011 @ 04:49 pm
Hosting Hours: Chapter 1  
Title: Hosting hours

Pairings: Yunho/Jaejoong, (others implied)

Rating: PG -17

Genre: Romance, Drama, Humor

Warnings: Language, sexual content

Length: 1/?

Summary: After trashing the car of Shim Changmin Yunho is forced to work in a host club to repay his debt. To have to entertain women as a gay man is worse in itself but on top of that he get’s saddled with two positively deranged roommates and the narcistic number one host Kim Jaejoong who has decided to make Yunho’s life a living hell. The fact that he has an undeniable crush on the man doesn’t really help either.

"You’ve been through worse shit than this, Yunho tried to comfort himself as he got out of the car. This is nothing compared to being cornered by seven angry Mafioso in a dark alleyway, you can do this!"

Chapter 1

Ok, so maybe stealing a luxurious  car from a well connected host club leader hadn’t been his best idea ever… Yunho had not expected it would cause him to wind up in a taxi, hair styled as if a minor nuclear explosion had taken place on top of his head, and dressed in clothes that were probably more expensive than all the things he had owned in his life put together. Not to forget that he was joined by two guys who, he was pretty sure, were completely deranged.

Don’t get him wrong, Yoochun was a pretty nice guy, if he would just stop the urge to grope his roommates inappropriately whenever he found the chance. And Junsu was… well… no, Junsu was just weirding him out. Somehow he’d managed to convince himself that Yunho was an evil Dark Lord reincarnation in disguise, planning to take over the world, starting by eating Junsu's brain. Yunho had no clue where he got that idea. He suspected it was Yoochun's fault. Even so, it had caused Junsu to dive from around every corner to throw holy water and random bulbs of garlic at him, only stopping after Yoochun had explained that this merely worked on vampires.

“So, are you ready for your big night?” Yoochun wiggled his eyebrows at Yunho as the taxi drove up the high way. “Scaring out yet? Hm?” he moved slightly closer.

After Changmin had managed to track the one who stole his car, he had forced Yunho to work in one of his host clubs for at least three months to pay back for the car he’d supposedly damaged. He didn’t get it though… the car had looked just fine! Maybe the side mirrors were slightly curved, the paint a little scratched and the front window completely missing, but it was nothing that couldn’t be fixed, right? Making him work as a semi-prostitute in some sex club for women was totally unreasonable. Especially considering that Yunho wasn’t interested in girls in the first place. How the hell did a gay guy manage to end up in a bar like that anyway?

“Fortunately you won’t need to worry about attracting the customers much,” Yoochun babbled on. “If they’re not impressed just flash them your abs! I bet they’ll swoon all over you in no time.”

Yunho moved a little away from Yoochun who was ever drawing nearer, and tried to ignore the suspicious glares Junsu was shooting him through the rear-view mirror. “Actually, I’m not really worried about any of the girls,” the thought alone seemed ridiculous, “Not sure about the other hosts though…”

 “Modest much?” Yoochun laughed “You’ll be fine. Most of them are pretty nice,” Yoochun said as he randomly started poking Junsu with his foot from the backseat. “Unless you’re talking about Kim Jaejoong of course.”

“Kim Jaejoong?” Yunho asked, not even wanting to know where Yoochun’s foot went exactly as Junsu yelped.

“Yeah, the number one host in our club. Mister I’m-too-pretty-for-my-own-good, we’d like to call him. Actually I’m pretty sure Changmin hired you because of him.”

Yoochun laughed out loud as Junsu tried to push away his foot, flushing in embarrassment.

“Why would he do that?” Yunho asked.

“Well, for one thing, Changmin has an eye for potential. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually let you trash his car just so he would have an excuse to hire you.” Yunho mumbled something about the car being perfectly fine which Yoochun ignored. “I think he hopes you’ll bring in some competition for Jaejoong. He’s been one hell of a bitch after receiving number one position for the 8th time in a row,” Yoochun sighed. “Actually, I hope you have as much potential as Changmin thinks you have. It promises to get very amusing if Jaejoong gets competition… he’s not used to that. Wonder how he’ll handle it…”

So he was supposed to throw the number one host of his throne. How fucking great, and there he had been hoping he could keep to the background and pass the three months quietly.

“So… why is he so popular?” Yunho asked, figuring he might as well prepare himself as much as possible.

 “Why?” Junsu answered as he finally managed to get rid of Yoochun’s foot. “Dude, that guy has fucking everything, that’s why! Charming, handsome, well-dressed… he’s the type who looks good, no matter who he’s with or what he does.”

Yunho frowned, next time he should just steal some granny's stuff again, at least duping the elderly never got him into this much trouble. 

“I’m surprised he’s still in the hosting business,” Junsu continued, “he could’ve gotten out a long time ago with the money he’s made so far…”

“Oooh, are we having a secret crush now, Junsu honey,” Yoochun cooed as he moved closer, making suggestive eyebrow wiggles at him in the rear-view mirror.

“Totally do not!” Junsu burst, making Yoochun grin even wider. “I’m just telling the truth! Besides, he’s a bitch to me anyways…”

Yunho had to admit he didn’t like the sound of Jaejoong.

“Wait… is that… is that hurt in your voice?!” Yoochun gasped. “Oh my, Junnie, you didn't  propose to him without consulting with me first, did you? Because that would hurt my feelings…”

“What the, I did NOT propose, and he did NOT turn me down, OK?! He just said that…” Junsu hesitated.

“What did he say?” Yoochun asked.

“You’re just going to make fun of me, so I’m not telling!”

“Junsu, if someone hurt my best friends feelings I think I should know about it,” Yoochun said more serious now.

“Well he sorta… you know… just…” Junsu mumbled something inaudible.

“He what?”

Maybe if the man hadn’t catapulted garlic at him for the past two days while screaming biblical lines Yunho would’ve actually managed to feel sorry for him.

“Junsu…” Yoochun said, voice soft.

“He just said my butt was too big, OK. Happy now?”

Yunho blinked a few times, not sure if he was allowed to laugh.

“He didn’t,” Yoochun gasped.

“He totally did! And in a really mean way too, you know,” Junsu whined.

“The bastard!”

“I know right?! And he said it in front of one of my customers too. I was so embarrassed.” Junsu started flapping around with his arms wildly, almost hitting the taxi driver who gave him an irritated look. “Oh my god, I totally didn’t know what to do and then he gave me this typical ‘I’m-too-awesome-for-you look’, you know…”

“But Junsu...” Yoochun tried to interrupt.

“…I thought he was trying to steal my customer or something, even though he knows it’s not allowed and…”


“…he really annoys me sometimes, you know and, wait, you said something?”

“You know, Junsu,” Yoochun proceeded.


“Your butt do is kinda big,” Yoochun said, dead serious.

Complete silence fell over the car as both Junsu and Yunho stared at him.

“I mean, seriously, have you even seen it?” Yoochun continued, “The thing is huge! Sometimes I even wonder myself how it’s possible for you to walk with a butt that big.”

Yunho had to try his hardest to hide his massive grin in his hands, while Junsu just gaped at Yoochun like a stranded fish.

 “Have you ever considered giving it a name?” Yoochun rambled on, somehow managing to keep a straight face. “Maybe buttzilla.”

“Oh my God Yoochun, I totally fucking hate you!” Junsu yelled, finally realizing he was made fun of all this time.

“Or maybe, the buttnator! That sounds pretty impressive as well...”

“I am SO not talking to you anymore for the rest of the evening, I totally hate you both!” Junsu yelled at them as he tried to ignore Yunho's hiccup-ing laughter and Yoochun’s expounding on theories on the origins of planet Junsu-butt.


The continued bickering between Yoochun and Junsu had momentarily distracted Yunho from his night ahead, but as the taxi driver pulled over his nervousness returned full force.

You’ve been through worse shit than this, Yunho tried to comfort himself as he got out of the car. This is nothing compared to being cornered by seven angry Mafioso in a dark alleyway, you can do this!

He followed Yoochun, who was now singing “I like. Big. Butts but I can not lie~” into what he presumed was the host club. As Yunho eyed the building. Junsu seemed to have  dissolved into childishness, and threw various colored candy wrappers at Yoochun’s head. From the outside the building looked rather plain, having been painted in a dull grey and only giving it’s contents away by a neon sign that read “Club fantasy: where all your dreams come true.”

“Junsuuuuu,” a sudden flash of yellow momentarily dazzled Yunho. “Yoochuuuun, oh my God, I heard something about Changmin forcing a hooligan super aggressive street-fighter new roommate into your house, is it true?” Yunho pulled up an eyebrow.

“Hongki! You HAVE to save me,” Junsu replied, throwing himself in the arms of the golden haired man.

“Junsu sweetie,” Hongki cuddled him like a beaten puppy. “Tell me what they’ve done to you.”

“One is insulting my butt and the other keeps trying to take control over my brain,” Junsu cried out desperately.

Yunho rolled his eyes as Junsu explained his dark lord theories. This was going to be a long evening.

“Junsu, your butt is more than lovely,” Hongki declared after Junsu’s rant and he gave Yoochun a death glare. “And as for the brain stealing reincarnation of Darth Vader,” he gave a knowing look at Yunho, “Don’t worry about it, I know his weakness.” He whispered.

Plotting furiously together, only briefly interrupted by glares directed at Yunho and Yoochun, the two took off.

“Are they even for real?” Yunho wondered out loud, still not sure if Junsu was playing with him or if he was really as mentally disturbed as he seemed.

“Junsu is. With Hongki you’re never really sure,” Yoochun said as he inspected one of his nails. “We better wait for Changmin before we go inside though. He said he wanted to explain the rules to you personally.”


After waiting for half an hour or so, Changmin arrived at the club, followed on his heels by four other hosts, all with the same expensive suit and carefully styled hair as Yoochun had forced on Yunho.

“Well I’m delighted to see you’re in time on your first day,” Changmin said, not looking half as delighted as he claimed to be. “Yoochun, you can go inside now. I’ll take care of Yunho myself.”

“Good luck,” Yoochun said and gave him a sleazy wink. Yunho braced himself as his roommate disappeared inside.

“Now let me explain the rules to you. It’s fairly simple,” Changmin stated, as they walked inside as well. “You entertain the girls, make sure they don’t feel lonely, if they like you, they’ll order drinks. The more they drink the better for you. If they drink, you drink with them; if they make a stupid joke, you laugh; if they’re ugly as hell, you tell them they’re pretty; if they’re as beautiful as a Greek goddess you tell them they’re even prettier. In short, their wish is your command, understood?”

Yunho nodded, surprised Changmin hadn’t mentioned the car even once.

“Now, when you walk inside you’ll see most of the hosts standing in line waiting. Just stand next to them in line and wait for the first customers to arrive. If a customer chooses you, you walk with her to a table. After you’ve bonded with her for a few minutes I’ll tap you on the shoulder and you’ll get back in line to wait for your next customer, got it?”

“Get in line, wait for customer until tapped, then back in line. Got it,” Yunho repeated, figuring it was best to just go along with everything Changmin said and get it over with.

“Now as the night proceeds and all the tables are filled you don’t need to get back in line, but simply accompany the other hosts to help with their customers, or, if you manage to get some customers yourself, navigate between them.”

Yunho tried to keep listening while gaping in awe over the major hall that was filled with chairs, benches, sofas and tables of different types and sizes. This host club sure didn’t live up to the reputation of sleazy practice.

“Finally, after her first night the girl shall choose the host she likes best and she’ll become your regular. Your main income is generated by your regulars, so make sure to meet their every need. Once a girl has chosen you, she cannot switch. So it’s no use trying to seduce another host's customer.”

“How will I know who already has a host and who’s still available?” Yunho asked, eying the other hosts who were making small talk next to the bar.

“Whenever a new customer arrives I shall give you a signal like this,” Changmin took out a little red laser light and clicked it twice. “After that, I expect you to remember and respect the boundaries. If you’re confused you can always ask me or one of the other hosts. Now, are you ready to give it a shot?”

Yunho nodded once again, only half confident about being able to remember all of it. However, it looked like if he would just play it smart he might be able to get through the evening relatively peacefully after all.

“Oh and one more thing,” Changmin turned around. “As long as you work here I expect you to restrain yourself.”

Yunho looked at him confused. “What’s that suppose to mean?”

“It means I won’t allow anyone to start trouble in my club for any reason whatsoever,” he eyed Yunho dangerously. “So as long as you work here I think it’s best to try not to fall in love. If I find you playing a jealousy act in my club I’ll make sure you’ll regret it.” He shot Yunho one last threatening look where after he left the area.


After just the first hour Yunho realized the hosting business was not about the girls at all. Even though he never really flirted with girls (why would he?) the competitive atmosphere of the hosts among each other stirred something inside of him. He soon came to understand that the more you earned, the more privileges you got and the more you were respected by both hosts and customers. As the evening progressed Yunho noticed more hosts walking in and when he asked Yoochun how come they weren’t punished for slacking off, Yoochun simply replied it was one of the many privileges of being a higher ranked host. The more you earned the later you were allowed to enter.

A girl that reminded Yunho vaguely of an Egyptian hippo was attempting to open his blouse a bit further, touching the bit of skin that peeked out from underneath it.

“Oh my,” she giggled flirtatiously. “You must work out all day.”

Yunho removed her hands gently, holding them in his to keep them from straying, and lightly pressed a kiss to one of her fingers. “Not really, this body comes quite naturally.” Not a complete lie, he never really worked out. The sad fact that stealing for a living and the resulting necessity of running to prevent getting the crap beaten out of him was a pretty good exercise in itself he didn’t mention. “But I see almost no make-up on you, I must say, I really do prefer girls who have a more natural look,” he stroked her face gently.

Yoochun had told him earlier that if you play it cleverly you don’t need to lie to your customers. Just make some general statements, and they immediately presume you’re talking about them.

The girl blushed brightly and started another giggling fit just as Changmin tapped his shoulder. Thank God!

“You’re doing even better than I expected,” Changmin said, actually a hint of glee crossing his face. “In a few minutes the top 3 hosts will arrive, it is customary for the newcomer to spend some time with the number one host at his table to learn some hosting tricks. Not like you need any…” Changmin added as he eyed the hippo-like girl who was ignoring the helper host while bouncing up and down on her chair in an attempt to gain back Yunho’s attention.

“I think Yoochun is entertaining one of his regulars right now, so just sit next to him and enjoy yourself a little until the number one arrives.” Changmin said while he guided Yunho over to Yoochun’s table.

To Yunho's surprise, the customer who was sitting next to Yoochun seemed on the verge of tears.

“I hate it when girls are selfish like this”, Yoochun said with a stern face. “You make your parents worry for what? You should think about your family sometimes instead of coming here.”

“Oppa~ I’m so sorry!” the girl cried “I just missed you so much, I couldn’t wait any longer,” and with a sob she flew into his arms.

“Poor Ji-yeon”, Yoochun stroked her hair. “I miss you as well, but you know how difficult it is for us to be together right now.”

Yoochun looked up and gave him a sleek wink with matching grin as Yunho eyed him in confusion.

“Now listen to me, Ji-yeon-ah,” Yoochun lifted her face gently and looked her straight in the eyes. “You have to try your best to sort things out with your family. Do it for us, so we can be together, okay?” the girl nodded enthusiastically and blushed as Yoochun gave her a quick peck on the lips. “Good girl,” he said, as he let the girl curl up against him, a contented sigh escaping her lips.

Playing forbidden secret lover, not a bad idea… Yunho thought.

“I heard from Changmin that you’re doing pretty well,” Yoochun started, stroking the girl’s long black hair. “Already three customers swooning over you, not bad for a first timer.”

“Thank you,” Yunho answered, trying to ignore a customer practically dancing on the table for his attention. “I don’t have much experience making girls fall for me, but the atmosphere here seems to make it easier somehow.”

“I know right,” Yoochun said. He smiled at the girl who muttered a sound of pleasure as he continued combing her hair. “The girls here actually long for your attention. They come to get entertained. That makes it way easier than in real life to please them.”

They continued to talk softly with each other in the comfy atmosphere of the club when a sudden enthusiasm amongst the customers disturbed the area.

“Oh my God,” a customer sitting next to Hongki screeched. “It’s them!” and she completely ignored his failing attempts to win back her attention as a small group of men walked inside, each of them with a girl on their arm.

The first two seemed the complete opposite of each other, one tall and muscled, hair trimmed short and a gentle face, while the other could easily be confused for a girl if it weren't for the suit he was wearing.

“Ah, Kim Heechul and Choi Siwon, the clubs number 2 and 3,” Yoochun said, while glancing back at the people entering the room. “Siwon’s a cool guy, just don’t try to bump into Heechul too much, he hates everything with more testosterone than estrogens in his body.”

Yunho’s attention, however, was caught by the third man that walked in. His perfectly styled raven black hair, ivory white skin and dark mesmerizing eyes gave the man an almost unnatural beauty, and he couldn’t help but stare.

“I presume that is…” Yunho trailed off.

“Right, Kim Jaejoong” Yoochun replied, pulling a face like he had stepped into something disgusting. “Don’t get fooled by his appearance. He will kick down anyone that he considers unworthy of his presence. Which is pretty much everyone except Changmin and Heechul. Unless you will earn him money of course,” Yoochun added as Jaejoong wrapped his arm closer around the beautiful girl standing next to him.

Changmin approached the three and as Heechul, Siwon and their customers took a seat somewhere out of Yunho’s sight, Changmin proceeded to converse with the handsome man. Jaejoong nodded once or twice, smiling gently when Changmin said something amusing.

Even his smile is beautiful… Yunho thought dreamily, unable to tear his eyes away from the handsome man.

Changmin pointed in his direction, and before he knew it Jaejoong’s dark eyes were staring straight into his, making his stomach do a strange backflip. Yunho quickly looked away slightly embarrassed at being caught staring. When he finally dared to avert back his gaze, he saw Jaejoong had already turned his attention back to Changmin, nodded once or twice and then quickly followed the others to the back of the club. Yunho blinked stupidly, still slightly dazed as he noticed Yoochun shooting him a weird look.

He was just about to make a crude remark when he noticed Changmin walking over to their table.

 “Yunho, please follow me,” Changmin said matter-of-factly. Yunho felt his courage drop below freezing point but obediently got up.

A/N: Had to write my thesis about Host Clubs and just got this story stuck in my mind for so long I couldn't control myself writing it down >< Hope you guys like it!! o-o If so, please comment ^^ it's my first attempt ever and I could use some advise!! (and praise is always encouraging ;D)

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
daramjwidaramjwi on May 17th, 2011 11:43 am (UTC)
omg!! ^___________^ gimme mooooore!!
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 12:55 pm (UTC)
xD First fan, yay~
adna123 on May 17th, 2011 01:36 pm (UTC)
I like it and would like to read more.
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 04:23 pm (UTC)
Shouldn't be a problem ^^
aw.shinawshin on May 17th, 2011 01:39 pm (UTC)
Sounds like it'll be quite lively from here onwards? Lol. Thank you for posting this!
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC)
Hehe, it will!! ;D Thanks ^^
woxwox666 on May 17th, 2011 02:54 pm (UTC)
very nice , more!
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 04:25 pm (UTC)
xD ok, that's clear. I'll do my best!
toni_luvtoni_luv on May 17th, 2011 03:17 pm (UTC)
Of course I'm fit, being a thief requires fitness for a living. Gotta be able to outrun cops or from the bystanders who try to be a hero from a pretty lady so they can score brownie points.
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 04:28 pm (UTC)
... Oh yes, I fully agree!
~♥Hope to the End. Always Keep the Faith♥~chloe1910 on May 17th, 2011 04:44 pm (UTC)
Interesting start! Looking forward to the updates.
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 06:33 pm (UTC)
I've gotten most of the story written out already so I should be able to update pretty fast! Hopefully it'll stay interesting O.o
Paprika ★: cute cute cuteyozora_yume on May 17th, 2011 04:47 pm (UTC)
I'm excited for this *__* liking the idea of bitchy, evil Jaejoong. <3
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 06:38 pm (UTC)
Haha, ikr! There'll be a lot of Jaejoong in the next chapter where you can look forward to ;D
neuromancer: DBSK - Yunho03n3uromanc3r on May 17th, 2011 04:58 pm (UTC)
It sounds really interesting. I've watched the documentary The Great Happiness Space once about host clubs and the JDrama Giragira so I really enjoyed that the situation wasn't completely new to me, the scene with Yoochun at the end was so amusing.

I can't wait for the next chapter!
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 06:49 pm (UTC)
I saw the same documentary for my bachelor thesis so I got most of my inspiration for this fic from that film. ^^ Pretty loosly based though, but still. Hope you'll enjoy the rest as well!! :]
cariad_82cariad_82 on May 17th, 2011 08:40 pm (UTC)
More????? Please!!!!
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 09:20 pm (UTC)
Haha, I'll try to hurry up ^^
taemuntaemun on May 17th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)
I think it's very interesting! Can't wait for some yunjae interaction (especially with a devil Jaejoong >:D)
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 09:22 pm (UTC)
xDDD *lolz over your comment*, Jaejoong'll be introduced in the next chapter :}
lovelysasusakulovelysasusaku on May 17th, 2011 09:02 pm (UTC)
this is great~ I will subscribe you as long as you promise me to update frequently and definitely END this story.
:3ppeogi on May 17th, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC)
Don't worry ^^ I already finished most chapters including the ending! Just need to recheck and find out how facebook works :P So don't worry, updates should come pretty quickly! (and it'll definitely get finished!)
black_prophet: YunJaeLaundryblack_prophet on May 18th, 2011 02:54 am (UTC)
OMG I LOVE this idea! I love the BadBoy Yunho having to work at the host club, and OMG Junsu was so adorable. HongKi just made me laugh, Yoochun is awesome. I cannot WAIT to see more of this! Love it!
:3ppeogi on May 18th, 2011 08:18 am (UTC)
Haha thank you ^___^ so glad you like my characters!
psychokatalpsychokatal on May 18th, 2011 11:11 am (UTC)
I really love the story so far.
I'm not a native speaker myself but I got the feeling of superb grammar and style =)
Also the plot is interesting. At first I was confused because on the one hand YH didn't seem to know YC or JS but then lived with them. You solved that pretty good with an explanation in a 'subordinate clause'.
I'm really looking forward for the first meeting between YH and JJ!!!
And to the answers of some questions like why YH steals at all.
:3ppeogi on May 18th, 2011 01:31 pm (UTC)
Haha the feeling of superb grammar and style? That sounds so awesome, I want it too!
I'm not a native speaker myself either, so sometimes I have so much difficulty with not f*cking up the grammar T_T But I feel like I'm doing pretty well so far! ^^
The next chapter is mainly Yunho and Jaejoong, so hope you'll like it!
jae000jae000 on May 19th, 2011 10:38 pm (UTC)
Su, your butt is mighty fine XDDD
Love it^^ Esp since there Jae and Yun host~
aquacrazyaquacrazy77 on May 19th, 2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm so glad that someone decided to do a hostclub!fic <333